So for the first time in almost 10 years, I have a job that is fun. Not a little bit of fun. A lot of fun. Basically, my days are filled with meetings.
Meeting Type #1 - Meetings with people who want something from me.
These are fun. Partly because its nice to be able to actually help someone with something and partly because it's nice to not be the one asking for something. People who want stuff often attempt to ply me with pens and stress balls and free food and booze. I usually eat the food and drink the liquids, but I throw the stress balls back at them and say, "Where were you 2 months ago before I quit my last job? That's when I needed the stress ball. How 'bout you invent a time machine, go back 8 weeks ago and give me this thing. Jerk." Actually, I usually politely accept the schwag and then distribute it to people who come by my office or who fall into meeting type #2.
Meeting Type #2 - Meetings with people from whom I want something.
"Why hello sir. You look quite stunning today. May I offer you a beverage? Perhaps a pen with some company logo on it? Stress ball? Anyway, the reason I asked you here is..." These meetings rarely go well. It's not because my lack of charm. It's the shitty schwag that people from Meeting Type #1 gave me. They really need to step that stuff up.
The third type of meeting known is the Informational Meeting. The informational meeting is the one where I randomly jot words down on a page while I nod my head like I am listening to every word coming out of the other person's mouth. Then I doodle around all the words on the page. I like to draw eyeballs, but sometimes the eyeballs look like boobs floating in the middle of a page, so then I have to draw an entire face. But then sometimes I get worried that if the person with whom I am speaking glances at my notebook, they'll think I'm drawing a picture of them, so then I have to add weird punk rock hair, because its the easiest to draw to make it not look like the person with whom I am meeting. Unless they are a punk rocker. And then I have to draw moustaches and sideburns. After the meeting my boss usually asks to see my notes from the meeting, because he saw me scribbling away furiously and thinks I probably wrote down a lot of the details we discussed. Then I have to lie and tell him that I write in shorthand and it's going to take me time to transcribe it. And then I have to type up notes from the meeting based on randomly written words that may or may not be covered by eye balls.
I love my job.
